i looked through your eyes
is it jealousy ?

my memory forced me back
the good times I began to see
all the laughs
all the embrace
bring nothing but agony

all the kiss
and all the touch
is it nothing but your alibi?
am I nothing but your victim?

all the trust
all the love
is stained
replaced
with anger and hate

leave alone me and my world
it's the fame you look for
it's the bitches you urge for

expunged already our memories
regrets are useless
cause this stain will never disappear
and this heart will never fix back
you crushed my heart once
and there's no going back

bye love
this is the end
never look back
cause it'll hurt us more

Is it not too early to forgive?

Is it not too late to hate?

For words are already spoken

and hearts are already falling apart

I can't say a thing

but to let the time decide

Baby, don't be such a player

Coz I'm watching you here

Baby, don't go away

Coz I'm waiting for you right here

Baby, don't love her

Coz i love you more than ever

i thought i had finally find my reason

to live

to breath

to smile

to face this tough world

but when i thought i would finally survive this world again

he left me there

standing in the rain

as clueless as i can be

as hurt as if you stab me with a knife

as wet as you might imagine

this life is beyond imagination

one second he said he's mine

and another second he said he don't want me no more

what did i do wrong?

no lie i ever spoke

no tear i ever cause

no wound i ever meant

but why?

why love that you trash me like this?

what have i done wrong?

ILOVEYOUWITHALLMYHEARTBUTYOUKICKMEASIDEANDNEVERBOTHERTOLOOKBACKYOU'VEHURTMENOUGH

side by side
we walk
across the the sea shore
over the ocean
hands by hands
we hold
across the sky
over the mountain
lips by lips
we kiss
across the table
over the plates
tick tock tick tock
the clock sounds
with its needle moving around
like merry-go-around
together we will be
until the end of time

you hurt me once

you hurt me twice

i cried

I'm hurt

you never said sorry

you never feel sorry

you never think of changing

and yet i can do nothing

but forgive you

and love you still

you hurt me thrice

you hurt me more

and more

and more

you are still not sorry

you are still not changing

and i still can do nothing

but love you still

am i the victim here?

for so long

I'm so sick of this

and yet unwilling to make a move

i wish i could be the one you love

i wish i could be there right next to you

at that framed picture in your room

i wish i could make you love me

i wish you could be mine

and my love will be yours forever

I'm so sick of wishing

So done waiting for you

but am I willing to let go ?

Leave me and my world alone

let the question be mine

and only mine

iloveyouyousaidyoulovemeyousaidyouwantmeandyetyou'rewithherihateyou

i love you

i miss you

i wanna hug you tight

i wanna hold you close

i wanna feel your warmth

i wanna touch your skin

i wanna kiss your lips

i wanna hold your hands

and never have to let go

i want you

i want you to be mine

i want you to be mine forever

my only wish

my stupid wish

the one wish i would never get

For you had died

and leave me alone in this world

i miss you

i want you

i wanna die

i wanna die for you

i wanna be with you

even if i have to give away my life

For my life mean nothing without you

this life is killing me

i need you here

i want you

i love you

for my beloved ko dai,

the one guy i would die for, the one guy who ever truly care for me, the one guy that was always there for me, the one guy who wouldn't hesitate to lend me a hand and dry my tears, the one guy that could draw a wide smile across my face, the one guy i would never be able to be with

this poem is unfinished. im still thinking of the ending but i would like to share with you guys :D

For life is a test
And death is a bless
When human goes sinful
The devil goes blissful
Priest clean
and human litter
He act as the dean
And us the trouble maker

I don't love this poem but its what im feeling right now )":

Every words that you wrote
Makes me twitch a lil bit
When u are gone
It stabs my heart a little more
Every touch of yours
Is my own brand of ecstasy
Every kiss of yours
Is my very own fantasy
Whenever we talk
I can't help but smile
Is this love then?

Its a shame that we are continents apart
you make out with your real life girls
and i hang out with my real life friends
The internet is one thing that unite us
But even that is still not enough for me
I wanna kiss your lips
I wanna touch your skin
I wanna hug u tight
I wanna see you smile
I wanna see you say all your bullshits
I only want us to be real
My only wish
My only ridiculous wish
My only wish that will never come true
Leave me alone with my dreams
I'll survive this world without you
As i always have
Even in an absurd way

i thought you were mine
when you were just messing up with my mind
Ay, can i say that this is love?
When this feeling is killing me
When every word is a lie
And every smile is fake
Every touch leaves a mark
deeper than the others
Every kiss is an alcohol to my wounds
Feeling nothing but pain
I surrender
Bye, my love
you'll always be in my mind
Cause this pain will never end
And this heart will always ache

Jesus help me
For this thought is killing me
I can't resist it
thinking of this shit
hating her obnoxiousity
that deepened my curiosity

Love your son more than you love me
Your lips may say but your eyes can't lie
Ditch me if you want
I'll do whatever you want
I'll play this game of yours
Pretending to love
Pretending to laugh when you do so
Cause you'll win this game anyway
You're always right and never wrong

It starts with a paper
And ends with a drama
All along with love
Flushed away by time
Flowing as fast as a wave
Too short for anything
Too long for not loving

It starts from a stare
And ends with a bye
All along with sadness and regret
For not having a chance to meet again
Tears may not drop
But heart may ache
Too early for more
Too late to know more

Untitled

I may not love you as much as you expect me to
or love you till the end of time
but i had decided
that for now i need you to be with me
you may not be the guy i put first
or the guy that i will always remember every second of my life
but i had decided
that there will always be a special place for you in my heart
even just a little
you may not be the guy i would be in love with at my very first sight
but i do love you
you may not be the the most charming guy i had ever know
but i need you the most

We may come from a different society
but i'll try to fit in
My friends would spit out how blind i am to be with you
but i would simply answer
'don't believe what you see'
because i know that even if you may not be the best for me
i will love you still
even just for a little

-September 2008-